Together at last, the screen titans play two ex-soldiers at cross purposes. Imagine the You're the One That I Want scene from Grease but with Travis Bickle instead of Olivia Newton John
Reading on mobile? Click here to view
Even if you forget any of the terrible films they've made over the course of the last decade, you have to admit that the thought of seeing Robert De Niro and John Travolta onscreen together is still a tiny bit exciting. Imagine: the raw ferocity of Travis Bickle combined with the lithe athleticism of Tony Manero. The unflappable cool of Vincent Vega combined with the ungoverned id of Jake LaMotta. The bloke from The Big Wedding combined with the guy from Old Dogs. Together. At last.
And now it's happening. De Niro and Travolta will soon appear together in a thriller called Killing Season. Imagine the scene between De Niro and Pacino in Heat, but with the man from Look Who's Talking instead of Pacino. Imagine the You're the One That I Want scene from Grease, but with the man from Little Fockers instead of Olivia Newton John. That's the sort of spectacle Killing Season offers. Let's look at the trailer to see what delights we're in for.
This is Robert De Niro. He used to be a soldier, but now he's withdrawn from society. He spends his days doing situps in a hut that's too dark to screengrab with any degree of success, which is why I'm showing you a closeup of his face.
And this is John Travolta. He used to be a … dear God, what's going on with that beard? That's a genuinely horrible beard. That might be the worst beard in the entire history of time. What was he thinking? I wonder if it goes all the way down his neck.
It does! It does go all the way down his neck! So, just to recap – Robert De Niro used to be a soldier, and John Travolta will apparently do anything for a dare. Even growing a beard so staggering unattractive that it makes me want to poke my eyes out with hot corn-cob forks.
Oh, and John Travolta used to be a soldier too. Although he was a bad soldier, one who committed atrocities long ago in a land where everything is sepia. Maybe they know each other. Maybe Killing Season is going to be about their vicious rivalry.
Or perhaps not. From this still, it looks like Travolta and De Niro are old friends. It looks like they get together like this all the time, Travolta to drink spirits out of bottles and De Niro to see how hard he can fart into his armchair.
But wait – John Travolta still carries out assassinations on the sly, and it looks like his newest target is a badly photoshopped version of Robert De Niro. Still, Travolta is a professional. Surely he won't confuse his old pal Robert De Niro with the obvious menace that is the badly photoshopped version of Robert De Niro.
Whoops! Too late. Travolta gets his wires crossed and starts to hunt the real Robert De Niro. But luckily he's only hunting him with arrows, and it's apparently quite easy to duck out of the way of those.
However, something goes wrong with De Niro's "duck the arrow" evasion strategy and he's captured by Travolta, who promptly hangs him upside down and waggles a knife at him. Surely only something truly inexplicable, like some timber falling down on to John Travolta's head, can save the day now.
Well, that was fortunate. Some timber falls on to John Travolta's head. This is how the Killing Season trailer ends, so we can presume this is how Killing Season also ends. You don't have to pay for a ticket now. You're welcome. Reported by guardian.co.uk 2 days ago.
Reading on mobile? Click here to view
Even if you forget any of the terrible films they've made over the course of the last decade, you have to admit that the thought of seeing Robert De Niro and John Travolta onscreen together is still a tiny bit exciting. Imagine: the raw ferocity of Travis Bickle combined with the lithe athleticism of Tony Manero. The unflappable cool of Vincent Vega combined with the ungoverned id of Jake LaMotta. The bloke from The Big Wedding combined with the guy from Old Dogs. Together. At last.
And now it's happening. De Niro and Travolta will soon appear together in a thriller called Killing Season. Imagine the scene between De Niro and Pacino in Heat, but with the man from Look Who's Talking instead of Pacino. Imagine the You're the One That I Want scene from Grease, but with the man from Little Fockers instead of Olivia Newton John. That's the sort of spectacle Killing Season offers. Let's look at the trailer to see what delights we're in for.
This is Robert De Niro. He used to be a soldier, but now he's withdrawn from society. He spends his days doing situps in a hut that's too dark to screengrab with any degree of success, which is why I'm showing you a closeup of his face.
And this is John Travolta. He used to be a … dear God, what's going on with that beard? That's a genuinely horrible beard. That might be the worst beard in the entire history of time. What was he thinking? I wonder if it goes all the way down his neck.
It does! It does go all the way down his neck! So, just to recap – Robert De Niro used to be a soldier, and John Travolta will apparently do anything for a dare. Even growing a beard so staggering unattractive that it makes me want to poke my eyes out with hot corn-cob forks.
Oh, and John Travolta used to be a soldier too. Although he was a bad soldier, one who committed atrocities long ago in a land where everything is sepia. Maybe they know each other. Maybe Killing Season is going to be about their vicious rivalry.
Or perhaps not. From this still, it looks like Travolta and De Niro are old friends. It looks like they get together like this all the time, Travolta to drink spirits out of bottles and De Niro to see how hard he can fart into his armchair.
But wait – John Travolta still carries out assassinations on the sly, and it looks like his newest target is a badly photoshopped version of Robert De Niro. Still, Travolta is a professional. Surely he won't confuse his old pal Robert De Niro with the obvious menace that is the badly photoshopped version of Robert De Niro.
Whoops! Too late. Travolta gets his wires crossed and starts to hunt the real Robert De Niro. But luckily he's only hunting him with arrows, and it's apparently quite easy to duck out of the way of those.
However, something goes wrong with De Niro's "duck the arrow" evasion strategy and he's captured by Travolta, who promptly hangs him upside down and waggles a knife at him. Surely only something truly inexplicable, like some timber falling down on to John Travolta's head, can save the day now.
Well, that was fortunate. Some timber falls on to John Travolta's head. This is how the Killing Season trailer ends, so we can presume this is how Killing Season also ends. You don't have to pay for a ticket now. You're welcome. Reported by guardian.co.uk 2 days ago.